Tic Files

This is the third interview of my blog series 'Hidden Voices.' Hidden Voices shines a spotlight on talented local people based in and around Plymouth (and Cornwall for this interview!) This blog gives a platform for those who wish to talk about an element of their life that they keep secret or hide from society. The more I speak out about TS the more I gain understanding of it. When I speak to people or write about it,  I feel like I can be comfortable with with it, I get to know it. I can also see parallels between different conditions and the experiences can be so similar. Speaking loud and proud about my condition has given me opportunities to connect to a diverse community of people and it has given me a whole new perspective to the work I create.  Since posting and vlogging I have had a fair amount of people come to me saying that it has inspired them to ‘come out’ about something they might have been hiding. This is the inspiration behind this blog series...

This is the second interview of my blog series 'Hidden Voices.'   Hidden Voices shines a spotlight on talented local people based in and around Plymouth.  These people balance successful careers with a disability or life long health conditions.   Last year when I spoke out about my experience of Tourettes it liberated me.  Speaking loud and proud about my condition has given me opportunities to connect to a diverse community of people and it has given me a whole new perspective to the work I create.  There are some real tough moments, and moments where I want it to all go away, but there are also beautiful connections and wonderful people I have met along the road. I came out of hiding, (though I do hibernate from time to time) and I wanted to offer others the platform to do so too.  I have interviewed 5 people I know, who all have a hidden disability. Hidden sometimes by choice and sometimes hidden because of the nature of the condition. I h...

"Hidden Voices" is a blog series placing the spotlight on some incredible people that I know and love. These people are incredibly talented and creative and are building successful careers for themselves- whilst juggling a lifelong condition that is often hidden or unseen. Last year when I spoke out about my experience of Tourettes it liberated me and gave me a great opportunity. I wanted to offer the same platform to others to come out of hiding like I did.  I have interviewed 5 people I know, who all have a hidden disability. Hidden sometimes by choice and sometimes hidden because of the nature of the condition. I hope you enjoy reading these honest and eye-opening posts and that you too feel inspired to come out of hiding and share your true self! This first interview is with one of my best friends... In my eyes she is a super woman that juggles day to day challenges with her health, whilst being one of the most hard working and bad-ass chicks I know! What's yo...

Tonight I can only describe the sensations within my body as tiny fireworks waiting to explode out of my skin.  Sometimes the fireworks ignite, they are ready to burst, but they don't. They resemble a tiny puff of smoke, and I am left with a very disappointing feeling. Sometimes there is a need to Tic, the prematory urge before a Tic can sometimes be more uncomfortable then the actual Tic itself. When it doesn't happen it can feel like a huge amount of build up in your body that you cannot let out, like a firework that hasn't gone off properly.  Sometimes I physically urge and gag because it won't surface. It either doesn't come out as expected, or you are somehow unconsciously suppressing it so that you can blend in to the social situation you find yourself in, to desguise yourself as 'neurotypical'. The other night, at the theatre, I sat with my partner surrounded by friends feeling safe and supported, until the moment where I needed to T...

Last week was the first time I ever had a swearing tic, Coprolalia. ' the involuntary and repetitive use of obscene language' A new sensation is present in my body and mind.  A sensation like I am holding in the urge to say something.  Flashing thoughts and images explode in my mind, words I shouldn't say, but I have to.  It rises from my feet, up, through my chest and into my throat like steam rising up and out of a boiling kettle.  And then suddenly there it is, I've said it, and it's out there. Last week was a very busy week. It was the Easter Holidays and I was preparing myself for a weekend away with Andy's family. I love them all and I was excited for some rest and recovery time.  But when I am away from home with new people and out of my comfort zone I need to mentally prepare myself. Any feelings of anxiety creep in and act as a trigger for my TS and it becomes a very different weekend to what I expected... The drive to North Devon was difficu...

Tourettes Action shared a very insightful webinar on YouTube this week,  this is useful to anyone struggling at the moment with work, and managing tics! It could also be useful for those with hidden disability and sensory processing type conditions that impact day to day work life. It has helped me realise that I have been struggling with my confidence, and ability to say what I need in order to succeed.  I avoid situations, and I feel anxious.  This webinar has prompted me to contact Access to Work- a government scheme that helps to assess what you need in the work place. See links below for more information. Useful links: https://www.gov.uk/access-to-work https://www.geniuswithin.co.uk/employable-me/ https://www.remploy.co.uk/

My name is Clair Beckett,  I am 30 years old and I am dance artist based in Plymouth. In May 2017 I was diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome. I have always been involved in disability arts and have been developing an integrated dance practice for the last 10 years, creating more opportunities for disabled people.  I have spent this time fighting for the recognition of disability led work, progression routes and pathways into employment.  My ambition was to carve a pathway of inclusion and acceptance for all. Now, here I am, a 30 year old female identifying as having a disability. A strange coincidence. I’m still trying to work out if this is luck or irony. Fortunately my creative work has always led me to surround myself with people who have similar aspirations, to maintain strong support networks and grasp every opportunity.  However, when I step out of this world, I am beginning to gain first hand experience of the difficulty in finding the right support… I h...

One of my main coping mechanisms for my TS is drawing and making.  I have recently found that focusing on a task for a few minutes at a time really helps me to chill out.  It has been proven that voluntary physical activity counteracts the involuntary movement, so that when we do something consciously it cancels out the involuntary movements or sounds.  For me, I find my tics get worse when I am over working or somewhere where I need to be still and focused for a long period of time.  I have found that doodling really helps me when I am static and where I feel most anxious-places where I need to concentrate and there is no escape! A couple of months ago I was in a meeting for about 5 hours and I nearly flipped the table over because my tics were building and I could not let them out. I find that when I am drawing it frees up the space in my mind to concentrate and listen to what is going on around me, because I am not sat there thinking about trying not to tic,...

Todays Question? What do you do if you have TS and you are due to teach a yoga class but can't stop shouting 'Hey'.  Do you crack on and assume all will be ok? Or do you rest because you are absolutely exhausted and feel that the participants might not feel uber chill and want their money back!?? Comment, Like, Share!

Check out the conversation I had with Sarah Waddington from Plymouth Herald about life with TS... The good, the bad and the funnies! blob:https://www.plymouthherald.co.uk/a82443a7-116a-4c64-9038-7cb3a1955e51 It was so lovely to share my story and to help spread more awareness of the condition.  See article below. Five years ago Clair Beckett's eyelids started twitching. Then her head started to jerk. Not long after her arms began to move, and her elbows started to shake. But it was the night before her Nan's funeral that Clair experienced an overwhelming rush in her body. Her mum walked her outside of the pub they were sat drinking in, and she completely lost control of her limbs.   The symptoms lasted all night and into the following day, before she collapsed with exhaustion. Paramedics strapped her down in the back of an ambulance, but her body would not stop jolting.  Four years after this attack, Clair was finally diagnosed with Tourette's. ...